Empty Nesting at Port

Jay is at the shop working on the stern rail so I thought I'd share some random thoughts about what I am discovering about myself during our sailing trip preparation.

I've been reading quite a few first-hand accounts about women taking off sailing with their partners and everyone of them relate having had serious doubts when they first thought of leaving the U.S. and their families behind. But everyone of them also said they would not trade their sailing experience for anything....so I am sure I will "get there" in my thinking. But having been a stay-at-home mom for 14 years and being home-bound for most of my adult life the prospect of heading off into the sunset is both exciting AND scary......

First and foremost is the fact that except for travel in the U.S. and a few border crossings to Mexico on land I've never travelled much in my life and never to any foreign shores.  I always looked at myself as a "mom" first and everything else fell into place after that....then my girls grew up and left one by one but I lived in the same general area so I was able to keep up with them pretty regularly and visiting with them often. Then in 2001 I moved to Eugene and for the first time in their lives I wasn't living in close proximity to my girls and grandchildren. They still came to visit and although I missed them I had to face the fact that even tho for most of their lives I was the only "constant" parent who was always "there" for them when they needed me or wanted me. At one point I ended up with a little rental that Alana and her first husband moved into in Veneta while Mikey was a baby and I thought at LEAST I'd have my "baby" near by...but Alana decided she didn't like Eugene because of all the rain and her allergies got really bad up here. So they moved back to Medford and I became very sad to not have her and Mikey around so near...then Moriah moved up to Junction City and I saw HER and her kids all the time and then they moved to Sweet Home...but we still had Thanksgivings and Christmases we shared with the rest of the family......

So now that we are preparing to take off I am feeling what some call that old "empty nest" syndrome (I knew it would get to me sooner or later)....I will be leaving in the next few months (unless I get that GREAT/WONDERFUL paying, super-dooper job with bennies.......ha ha) and when I leave we will not have a phone or internet  service  or even mail service until we make port from time to time and buy a phone card and/or find an internet cafe down south.....so I will really be out of touch with my girls and grandchildren (all 7 of them!) My only hope is that the girls and grandchildren will save up and come to visit us as we travel! But I have been a mom for so long that taking off into the "unknown" so to speak seems scary and sad......when will I see my girls and wonderful grandchildren again? Are my "parenting" skills really no longer needed by my family? and what the heck do I do with the rest of my life sans my children and grandchildren needing me? So there you have it, my "mom thoughts"---I thought it was hard getting rid of my excess material possessions but I don't think I could ever give up my girls and my grandchildren.....fortunately I can carry them in my heart and mind and have them come visit this old lady of the sea when they can....I just hope none of them feel "deserted" by their mom/grandma, cause when all is said and done my girls Moriah, Annie, Darcie and Alana and my grandchildren: Leah, Haley Brandon, Anthony, Britney, Mikey and Hayden are part of me everyday in my thoughts and prayers-----but like that Steven Tyler song "I just don't want to miss a thing..." especially Hayden changing from a toddler into a little boy -----so, yeah, I get "weepy" from time to time thinking about taking off for "parts unknown" but the girls are (this year) 39, 36, 33, and 27 and they have their own lives, their own children, jobs, relationships and etc. and I am so proud of all four of them for being good, kind people with strong values and Moriah, Annie and Alana for being great parents! and I am so happy that Darcie finally found her prince, Walter, and is engaged!

So now, Mom's adventure begins......it's almost like I've just (finally) "grown up" and am heading out on my own......I know the kids will be fine and I will pray for each of them everyday and I hope they pray for their mom/grandma too.......better end this before I get too sappy...ha ha......gotta get back to that book I'm reading about the guy who was adrift for 76 years in the ocean before he was rescused!!!!!!